`All we need is love,` said the Beatles… (healthy food and a safe home, I would add, just to be accurate), and so it is.

 

COVID has been a global wide kick `under the belt`… In some ways, it has made us wiser, and I hope we do not forget our lessons anytime soon. Human communities at that time were so vital for people not to get `bananas`. As much as we care and invest in technology, we should focus on kindness, motherhood, creativity, art, and friendship, principles that require connection to each other. A real healthy human connection ensures not only survival but also thriving for the individual and the whole group. After all… in simple words. What to do with the spaceship when we feel like crap, right?

If you made a grimace face when I started praising human connection, hear me out. Human connection is an endeavor that many of us have to unlearn and relearn.

The human connection I am referring to is interaction and communities based on mutual trust and respect for the life of the other person, where people belong for who they are, instead of trying to fit in.

A safe community is a place where:
1 There is mutual trust
2 There is care and respect for the other beings’ lifeforce (their time, their money, their wellbeing).
2 You do not have to become smaller or bigger for the others to love and accept you.
3 There is no sacrifice, only gifting at will.
4 There is no fear

There is a race called Ferengi that has developed high-level technology achievements. As a society, they are Economy-obsessed and strictly Patriarchal, opportunistic, and value negotiation and violence.

Here are some of their favorite quotes:

• The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
• War is good for business.
• Peace is good for business.
• Never place friendship above profit.
• Greed is eternal..
• Treat people in your debt like family: exploit them.

The stories from Star Trek are fictional, but very real at the same time. There is no such equation where highly developed technology equates to a developed consciousness.

On this note, I would like to make a book recommendation that addresses this topic. It is the book of Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and incredibly gifted writer. In her book `Daring Greatly` How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
She has shared numerous valuable insights about belonging versus fitting, as well as many other topics that are very significant for building safe community units. I highly recommend her book!

Starvation for connection causes loneliness, which is unfortunately far from an isolated or rare experience nowadays. Research across populations and continents confirms that it is common at all stages of life, and increasingly recognized as a major public health issue due to its mental and physical health consequences.

Adults (≥ 60 years)

• Around 1 in 4 older adults worldwide experience loneliness.
• Loneliness in older age is linked to increased risk of depression, cognitive decline, and early mortality.

Adults (≥ 80 years)

• Among people aged 80 and above, over 50% report at least moderate loneliness.

All Life Stages Are Affected

Regardless of age, loneliness is strongly linked to:

• Depression and anxiety
• Sleep disturbances
• Cardiovascular risk
• A 26–32% increased risk of early death

Deprivation of connection is growing. We feel more and more lonely, although there is the internet and we can travel by plane all over the world.

It is up to us all to change these unfortunate stats. What it takes is for us to look people in the eye when we talk to them and realize they have needs and wants just as much as we do; they aren’t robots. We are all in the same boat, whether we like it or not.

Sources for loneliness reseach:

• Surkalim, D. L. et al. (2022). Prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries. BMJ. Link
• Cobo-Rendón, R. et al. (2024). Global prevalence of loneliness among older adults: A meta-analysis. International Psychogeriatrics. Link
• Hajek, A. et al. (2023). Loneliness and social isolation in the oldest old: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology. Link
• Holt-Lunstad, J. et al. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science. Link